


We Have Spoken Everything Short of "I Love You"

by isabella_castronovo



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Character Analysis, Fandom Discourse, Gen, Meta, Not a fic, Pairing Discourse, Ship Manifesto, Shipping, all the feels, film analysis, no story here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 03:47:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17675867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isabella_castronovo/pseuds/isabella_castronovo
Summary: On the profound relationship between Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Welp, after marathoning all of the MCU films in preparation for seeing Infinity War when it came out in theaters last year, I promptly fell down the Steve/Bucky rabbit hole and have not resurfaced since. To say I am obsessed with this pairing does not even begin to cover it, so here I am. At least I’m in good company. *waves*
> 
> Fair warning, this is NOT a fic, because as much as I love these boys I just can’t seem to get into the proper headspace to write for them; apparently my brain is ALL about going academic on these two and their crazy bond instead. Call it a ship manifesto if you will; personally, I call it my Stucky dissertation, because that’s how much of a nerd I am (and because it took me about 5 months to finish this thing, oops).
> 
> Anyway, there is so much incredible fandom discourse surrounding this pairing and many others before me have offered up fantastic analyses and close readings of various scenes, the general ideas of which will probably show up here given how widely and often certain topics and moments have been discussed. Nevertheless, I felt compelled to add my own. I chose scenes that really resonated with me, so not all of their scenes together are covered here. Feel free to chime in/yell at me in the comments for anything major you think I’ve missed; I am always on the lookout for new perspectives and moments. 
> 
> Title is taken from The Fray’s [ Hundred,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjP2TGL-srY) which is an achingly beautiful song that perfectly fits Steve and Bucky’s relationship (in my humble opinion, anyway). I recommend giving it a listen.

It’s not an exaggeration to say that the relationship between Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes is the most celebrated and hotly debated bond in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, nor is it false to state that it is considered by many fans to be romantic in nature. As a romantic pairing, known most widely as “Stucky,” it is the most popular relationship in the entire MCU; there is more fan content hosted for it here on Archive of Our Own than any other pairing in the MCU, and it has continued to grow exponentially in acclaim over the progression of the Captain America films and in _Avengers: Infinity War._ Despite this massive following, the pairing is not explicitly canon in the films. While many of the filmmakers and actors involved have spoken about how the relationship is open to interpretation and have gone so far as to call it “a love story,” the narrative that has been pushed thus far by Marvel and Disney is that of it being a strictly platonic, brotherly relationship. Given the following behind this pairing, however, it stands to reason that the actual text of the films denotes otherwise. Over the course of the films, Steve and Bucky are shown to have an extremely potent connection that is continuously tested and yet defies all odds. Steve puts Bucky before everyone else in his life, including his canon love interests. Their narrative is indeed portrayed as an epic love story, however the chemistry between them seems to be as much romantic as it is rooted in their steadfast friendship, something which is heavily coded in the Captain America films despite Marvel’s efforts to spin it otherwise. My aim herein is to examine and analyze the various significant moments of romantic subtext--which, in many instances, verge on actual text--that occur in Steve and Bucky’s relationship throughout the Captain America films and in _Avengers: Infinity War._


	2. Captain America: The First Avenger

Bucky: “You’re really gonna do this again?”  
Steve: “Well, it’s a fair. I’m gonna try my luck.”  
Bucky: “As who? Steve from Ohio? They’ll catch you. Or worse, they’ll actually take you.”  
Steve: “Look, I know you don’t think I can do this.”  
Bucky: “This isn’t a back alley, Steve. It’s war!”  
Steve: “I know it’s a war. You don’t have to tell me.”  
Bucky: “Why are you so keen to fight? There are so many important jobs.”  
Steve: “What am I gonna do? Collect scrap metal…”  
Bucky: “Yes!”  
Steve: “…in my little red wagon.”  
Bucky: “Why not?”  
Steve: “I’m not gonna sit in a factory, Bucky.”  
Bucky: “I don’t…”  
Steve: “Bucky, come on! There are men laying down their lives. I got no right to do any less than them. That’s what you don’t understand. This isn’t about me.”  
Bucky: “Right. Cause you got nothing to prove.”  
Bucky: “Don’t do anything stupid until I get back.”  
Steve: “How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.”  
Bucky: “You’re a punk.”  
Steve: “Jerk. Be careful.”  
Steve: “Don’t win the war till I get there!”

This exchange effectively demonstrates how Steve and Bucky’s relationship is defined by their general reluctance to share the true nature and depth of their feelings with each other except in the most serious moments. Their entire conversation here essentially boils down to Bucky saying “please don’t do this, I can’t lose you, I want you safe” underneath all the snark and masculine bravado (“They’ll catch you. Or worse, they’ll actually take you,” “Don’t do anything stupid until I get back”), and Steve trying to circumvent his own emotions and distress over Bucky leaving by channeling them into a desire to fight (“There are men laying down their lives. I got no right to do any less than them”), which Bucky ultimately calls him out on (“Right. Cause you got nothing to prove”). Both of them attempt to mask their true feelings, Steve with a veneer of stoic nobility and Bucky with his usual cocky swagger. It’s interesting to note as well that despite Steve telling Bucky “I know you don’t think I can do this,” Bucky’s persistent counter-arguments to Steve’s reasons for trying to enlist actually tell the opposite--that Bucky does in fact think Steve can somehow make it into the army through sheer force of will, the fact of which seems to terrify him more than anything. 

The farce on Bucky’s part is even moreso illustrated by his actions in the moments before he finds Steve. He looks back and checks on Steve several times during Stark’s demonstration--he pays more attention to Steve than his own date--and excuses himself from the girls in order to find Steve. Given that it’s Bucky’s last night home before he ships out for the war, this is especially telling; he obviously wants to go out and have a good time, but he mainly concentrates on Steve and his well-being during their time together. Even their parting demonstrates his hesitancy to let Steve go; he at first starts to walk back to the girls, but quickly reneges and returns to Steve in order to hug him goodbye. Bucky is the one who initiates this contact while Steve stands there the whole time watching him. Even his little turn and salute to Steve at the end, however frustrated, illustrates the push and pull nature of their emotional dance in this scene, which all throughout retains a sense of tension--underneath it all, they don’t want to leave each other. Steve’s own reluctance to let Bucky go culminates in his final remark (“Don’t win the war until I get there”), which reveals his desire to fight alongside Bucky specifically and acts as a bantery cover for his true emotions. Steve is determined to make it into the army somehow yet he doesn’t know if he will ever actually be successful--especially given the odds stacked against him--so his command to Bucky seems to translate to “don’t die out there, wait for me.”

For two people as inseparable as Steve and Bucky, such a relatively casual parting belies the fear and longing they both hold for each other’s safety and well-being. It’s clear that something is holding them back from truly saying goodbye to each other, as though the effort will somehow protect them both from harm and enable them to reunite; perhaps it’s the superstition that if they don’t allow themselves a more emotional send-off, then it won’t be a permanent farewell, merely an extended separation. While they are both withholding the strength of their true feelings, it’s clear that neither of them wishes to be parted from the other.

***

Peggy: “What do you plan to do? Walk to Austria?”  
Steve: “If that's what it takes.”  
Peggy: “You heard the Colonel, your friend is most likely dead.”  
Steve: “You don't know that.”

This scene illustrates Steve’s absolute devotion to Bucky. Does he want to rescue the captured men of the 107th because he thinks it’s wrong that Colonel Philips and the army are turning their backs on them? Certainly; he makes it known what he thinks of that decision in his stand-off with Philips. However, it is made explicitly clear in this exchange with Peggy that’s Steve primary motivation is rescuing Bucky, who he still believes to be alive. Moments before this scene, he is calm, if sad, discussing the casualties of war with Peggy; however, the moment she reveals that the men he performed for were all that was left of the 107th division--Bucky’s division--he springs into action. It’s like a fire roars to life inside of Steve when Bucky is brought into the conversation; suddenly all of his attention and willpower is focused on finding and rescuing his best friend. His willingness to do whatever it takes to accomplish this flies in the face of all logic and self-preservation; when Peggy wryly asks if he’d walk to Austria he agrees he would without hesitation, and he moves forward with his plan to single-handedly break Bucky and the others out despite it being a suicide mission. Steve is willing to lay down his life without a second thought in order to rescue Bucky even when there’s a large chance that he’s already dead, implying that there isn’t anything he wouldn’t do for him altogether. It’s true that Steve is always willing to lay down his life to protect people and causes he believes in--he is self-sacrificial to a fault--but when it comes to Bucky, that motivation takes on an even greater power and desperation. Steve has proven that he can live without Bucky, but his willingness to take on death without a second thought proves the he doesn’t _want_ to, even against all odds, and that makes all the difference.

***

Steve: “Just go, get out of here!”  
Bucky: “No, not without you!”

In this scene, we see what was hinted at in Bucky’s exchange with Steve at the Future Expo: Bucky’s attachment to Steve is just as strong as Steve’s is to him. Still recovering from the effects of Zola’s experimentations and surrounded by explosions and climbing flames, Bucky insistently refuses to abandon his best friend even at the risk of his own life. His response to Steve’s plea is immediate, shouted vehemently over the roar of the facility collapsing around them and over a fiery chasm that separates them. It’s an honest, visceral, and passionate answer to Steve’s ridiculously bull-headed and dangerous attempt to save him, and it clearly illustrates that when it comes to each other, both Bucky and Steve are willing to sacrifice everything to protect the other; they cannot bear to lose each other and would rather die than live without each other. What’s notable, too, is that this moment is the first of only two moments in the entire Captain America trilogy in which Bucky explicitly verbalizes his attachment to Steve. It’s a departure from their exchange at the Future Expo, in which both of them danced around their feelings and Bucky hesitated to truly say goodbye; he holds nothing back here and while he doesn’t say much, the little that he does say manages to capture the depth of his feelings for Steve and how inseparably tied they are to each other.

***

Steve: “You ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death?”  
Bucky: “Hell no! That little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run away from a fight. I'm following him. But you're keeping the outfit, right?”

I’m assuming the filmmakers’ intent for this scene was to show Bucky good-naturedly ribbing his best friend after confessing something deeply intimate and highly personal, but the buzzing chemistry he and Steve share in this moment gives it the undercurrent of something more. The seriousness of Bucky’s feelings toward Steve--that to Bucky, Steve would always be Steve, never Captain America, and that he would follow Steve into any situation, no matter the risks--remains, but instead of a joke, Bucky’s remark about the outfit comes off as a subtle flirtation. The way they both look at each other in this scene--eyes half-lidded and barely breaking contact, deeply engrossed in each other despite the hustle and bustle of the bar around them, Steve smirking slightly--gives it a palpable tension as well. When Steve cheekily responds “You know what? I think it’s growing on me,” it comes off as an answering flirtation to Bucky’s own.

***

“There is a Tavern in the Town”

There is a tavern in the town, in the town,  
And there my dear love sits him down, sits him down,  
And drinks his wine 'mid laughter free,  
And never, never thinks of me.

Fare thee well, for I must leave thee,  
Do not let the parting grieve thee,  
And remember that the best of friends must part, must part  
Adieu, adieu, kind friends adieu, adieu, adieu,  
I can no longer stay with you, stay with you,  
I'll hang my harp on a weeping willow tree,  
And may the world go well with thee.

He left me for a damsel dark, damsel dark,  
Each Friday night they used to spark, used to spark,  
And now my love, once true to me,  
Takes that dark damsel on his knee.

Fare thee well, for I must leave thee,  
Do not let the parting grieve thee,  
And remember that the best of friends must part, must part  
Adieu, adieu, kind friends adieu, adieu, adieu,  
I can no longer stay with you, stay with you,  
I'll hang my harp on a weeping willow tree,

And may the world go well with thee.  
Oh! dig my grave both wide and deep, wide and deep,  
Put tombstones at my head and feet, head and feet,  
And on my breast carve a turtle dove  
To signify I died of love.

Fare thee well, for I must leave thee,  
Do not let the parting grieve thee,  
And remember that the best of friends must part, must part  
Adieu, adieu, kind friends adieu, adieu, adieu,  
I can no longer stay with you, stay with you,  
I'll hang my harp on a weeping willow tree,  
And may the world go well with thee.

Though it seems like such a small and insignificant detail to pinpoint in the loud and merrily chaotic bar scene, the lyrics to the song being sung, “There is a Tavern in the Town,” reveal just how much the song works to quietly choreograph the later events of the film and position Bucky and Peggy in relation to Steve. Despite its light-hearted melody and status as a drinking song, its subject matter (love, loss, grief, and death) reflects what perhaps all of the soldiers in the bar are grappling with as a result of the war: despair, a general sense of loss, be it of life or love, and a fear that they will be forgotten or replaced. This juxtaposition of contrasting subject matter and tone in this scene creates a sense of premature nostalgia; it is generally a happy moment, a small reprieve from the horrors of war, yet it is colored with a wistful sadness when taken into the context of the later events of the film, about which it subtly intones. 

In this sense, the song is an omen. The warning “Remember that the best of friends/Must part” foreshadows Steve and Bucky’s parting and later the disbanding of the Howling Commandos as a result of Steve’s death. The plea to “dig my grave both wide and deep” alludes to Steve suicidally crashing his plane in the ocean, a “wide and deep” grave indeed, while the instruction to “put tombstones at my head and feet” evokes both the imagery of a tomb or mausoleum--which his plane becomes--and the sensation of being weighed down or drowning, which is assumed to be how Steve dies. The imagery of a “grave both wide and deep” also conjures the image of Bucky falling to his death in the steep, wide ravine in the Alps. The motivation behind Steve’s untimely demise is ultimately driven by love, much like that of the song’s narrator; Steve dies talking to the woman he loves whilst on a mission that he took on in order to both save the world and exact vengeance upon those who killed the man he loved. Ergo, the line “I died of love” is prophetic and underscores how Steve’s entire journey in _The First Avenger_ has been shaped by his great loves; his love of and belief in people, and the depth and force of his love for Peggy and Bucky. 

That love is present in this scene, which, in line with the song’s narrative, establishes romantic tensions between Steve, Bucky, and Peggy. Bucky appears to be cast in the role of the song’s betrayed narrator; the line “He left me for a damsel dark” can be clearly heard precisely as the camera zooms in to focus on Bucky’s eyes flitting from Peggy to Steve and then away, his expression one of quiet resignation. During Peggy and Bucky’s exchange about going dancing, Peggy answers him but keeps her eyes on Steve all the while, her interest clear when she tells Bucky she’s waiting for “the right partner,” staring Steve down with intent. Bucky’s remark to Steve that “I’m invisible. I’m turning into you, this is a horrible dream” plays into Bucky’s status as a charmer and a flirt, and so on the surface that jealousy appears plausible; however, his body language throughout the entire scene points to a general sense of unease on his part from the minute Peggy appears. In the moments before the camera shifts to focus on Bucky’s expression, it is panned out to show the three of them interacting, during which time Bucky keeps his eyes primarily on Steve; he gives Peggy a once-over when she arrives but otherwise observes Steve, even when both Peggy and Steve turn to look back into the main bar room. Contrastingly, Steve is clearly enthralled with Peggy and maintains eye contact with her throughout the entire scene, never once sparing Bucky a glance until he begins talking after she leaves. Bucky plays at being dejected over Peggy dismissing him in favor of Steve, but given the object of his attentions throughout their exchange and the way he looks between Peggy and Steve, it seems that his jealousy is aimed more at Peggy and her intrusion. Peggy, then, is the “damsel dark” who so thoroughly usurps Steve’s attention. This is significant not only because it suggests that Bucky’s feelings for Steve are romantic in nature, it also reframes Bucky’s lament that he’s turning into Steve, which draws attention to the shift in their dynamic. Suddenly, Bucky is no longer the only person in Steve’s life who truly _sees_ him and desires his companionship; suddenly, Bucky is no longer the only person who captures Steve’s attention.

Steve’s feelings toward Peggy are solidified in this moment; his admiration of her evolves from a flirtation to a genuine romantic attraction, and he becomes preoccupied with thoughts of her. This is further illustrated in subsequent events in the film, such as by how flustered he gets during his confrontation with her the next morning after she sees him with Private Lorraine, and the military film footage that catches him with her picture in his compass. Up until Bucky’s death, Steve’s attention seems to be primarily focused on the fight against HYDRA and his feelings for Peggy.

***

Steve: “Dr. Erskine said that the serum wouldn't just affect my muscles, it would effect my cells. Create a protective system of regeneration and healing. Which means, um, I can't get drunk. Did you know that?”  
Peggy: “Your metabolism burns four times faster than the average person. He thought it could be one of the side effects. [Pause] It wasn’t your fault.”  
Steve: “Did you read the report?”  
Peggy: “Yes.”  
Steve: “Then you know that’s not true.”  
Peggy: “You did everything you could. Did you believe in your friend? Did you respect him? Then stop blaming yourself. Allow Barnes the dignity of his choice, he damn well must have thought you were worth it.”  
Steve: “I’m going after Schmidt. I’m not gonna stop until all of HYDRA is dead or captured.”

The openness and visibility of Steve’s grief in the wake of Bucky’s death is notable. In this scene, Steve is shown sitting in the ruins of a bar red-eyed and sniffling, as though he had been sitting there crying for a long time. When he notices Peggy’s approach he attempts to pull himself together, but it’s clear from his hoarse voice and constant attempts to swallow back tears that he’s only partially succeeding at putting on a brave face. His despair at being unable to get drunk in the wake of his misery is also very telling of his mindset; all he wants to do is drown out his thoughts and numb himself to the pain, yet instead, due to his body’s new abilities, he becomes entrenched in his sorrow all the more. He wears his grief and also internalizes it deeply, both as loss and as guilt. It is not a reach to say that Bucky’s death takes an immense toll on Steve and changes the trajectory of his character arc. His initial desire to protect, rather than an innate blood-thirst or show of masculine bravado, is what sets him apart from his fellow soldiers and commanding officers and deems him worthy, in Dr. Erskine’s eyes, of being the one selected for Project Rebirth. Steve’s innate “goodness” becomes clouded by his emotions in the wake of Bucky’s death, which is made startlingly clear in his sudden desire to “not stop until all of HYDRA is dead or captured;” this is a huge departure from his initial reasons for joining the war effort and his previous attitude toward taking out HYDRA altogether.

The state of the bar around him in this scene perfectly captures this turmoil, acting as a visible symbol for Steve’s mind and heart in that moment as well as his relationship with Bucky. This is the same bar where Bucky had revealed the depths of his loyalty to Steve and Steve alone, the same bar where Steve recruited the rest of the Howling Commandos at Bucky’s suggestion. It was the birthplace of their team, and the site of a renewed sense of attachment between him and Bucky; a happy place that has been utterly destroyed, the one safe haven he had in the war, now gone. It’s a fitting metaphor. Bucky had been Steve’s personal safe haven as well, his one constant throughout all his life, and now he’s gone. It’s interesting that in this moment, when Steve feels most heartbroken and alone, it is Peggy, rather than his fellow Commandos, who comes to console him. It’s yet another instance of Peggy and Bucky moving at close proximity in Steve’s life--where one leaves, the other slides into place, laying the groundwork for the idea that Bucky is positioned as a love interest for Steve in much the same way that Peggy is. This is reinforced with her sentiment of “he damn well must have thought you were worth it.” These are obviously Peggy’s feelings, and having her voice them with such conviction does much to portray the depth and strength of her love for Steve; yet, they are no doubt also Bucky’s feelings, hitherto left unsaid but demonstrated by his all of his attempts to protect Steve throughout their lives together and, ultimately, his final sacrifice. Having Peggy act as a mouthpiece for both herself and Bucky in this moment subtly illustrates that their sentiments toward Steve are shared--they both love him fiercely and would choose to die for him without question. Furthermore, this moment is significant in that it quietly establishes Peggy and Bucky as Steve’s two most important people, a fact that reverberates throughout the entire Captain America trilogy and does much in shaping Steve as a person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick history of the song "There is a Tavern in the Town" can be found [here;](https://mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=13314) it appears to have been lifted from [“The Butcher’s Boy,”](https://mudcat.org/@displaysong.cfm?SongID=1003) which is a decidedly more morbid take on the subject matter. For overall context, [here’s how it appears in the film.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1bPRotpQDQ)


	3. Captain America: The Winter Soldier

“It's Been a Long, Long Time” 

Never thought that you would be  
standing here so close to me  
there's so much I feel that I should say  
but words can wait until some other day

Kiss me once, then kiss me twice  
Then kiss me once again  
It's been a long, long time  
Haven't felt like this, my dear

Since I can't remember when  
It's been a long, long time  
You'll never know how many dreams  
I've dreamed about you

Or just how empty they all seemed without you  
So kiss me once, then kiss me twice  
Then kiss me once again  
It's been a long, long time

Ah, kiss me once, then kiss me twice  
Then kiss me once again  
It's been a long time  
Haven't felt like this my dear

Since I can't remember when  
It's been a long, long time  
You'll never know how many dreams  
I dreamed about you

Or just how empty they all seemed without you  
So kiss me once then kiss me twice  
Then kiss me once again  
It's been a long, long time

Long, long time

Similarly to how “There is a Tavern in the Town” acts to subtly frame the bar scene in _The First Avenger_ , “It’s Been a Long, Long Time” works to lay a specific narrative framework in _The Winter Soldier_ that quietly foreshadows certain events and transitions. This song is playing in the background in the moments just before Steve encounters the Winter Soldier for the first time. It’s an odd song choice to pick at random; far more popular and less romantic songs could have been selected for this scene, so the decision to use this one is significant. Its discussion of being reunited with someone after many years (“It’s been a long, long time”) and its allusions to memory loss (“Haven't felt like this, my dear/Since I can't remember when”) are a subtle link to Bucky, who appears only moments later, though at the time Steve doesn’t know his true identity. The romantic narrative makes an interesting companion to the subplot of Natasha’s meddling in Steve’s love life, which is woven throughout the film from beginning to end. 

The song also seems to tie into Steve’s relationship with Peggy and his later visit with her as well (Peggy’s mournful exclamation of “It’s been so long, so long” echoing the lyrics “It’s been a long, long time”), which is also significant. Peggy is Steve’s canonical love interest and, like Bucky, her figure looms large in all of his films; from her introduction in _The First Avenger_ to her death in _Civil War_ , Peggy is always present in some way in Steve’s life. What’s interesting to note, however, is the proximity of Peggy’s appearances in _The Winter Soldier_ to those of Bucky’s; when Steve visits Bucky’s portion of the Smithsonian exhibit and lingeringly studies his photo with a pained expression, the scene then bleeds directly into video footage of an interview with Peggy. These instances reassert the link between Peggy and Bucky that was established in the final bar scene in _The First Avenger_ : not only are they the sole remaining ties to Steve’s previous life, they are also the two people who are most important to Steve, period. However, Peggy is in decline: she is well into her nineties and appears to be suffering from dementia, causing her to retread her meetings with Steve; their interaction is framed so that we’re made to feel as though every time Steve goes to see her, she thinks it’s the first time, something which plays out heartbreakingly in Steve’s shattered but resigned expression at the end of his visit. 

The deterioration of Peggy’s memory seems to echo Bucky’s own struggle to remember Steve, though in an opposite way. Where Peggy is fighting the degradation of her own mind due to natural causes--something from which we know she will never recover or overcome--Bucky is fighting to break through the barriers forcibly put in place by HYDRA, which are made brutally clear later on in the scene where Pierce confronts him and his memory is wiped. He is so preoccupied with Steve he is unable to provide a mission report, and he insists that “I knew him” despite the danger he seems to know he is in by admitting this truth. When Steve tries to force his memories to the surface during their final battle, Bucky lashes out and resists fiercely, almost as if he knows he will face the same violence at Pierce’s hands again if he gives in. Steve manages to break through to Bucky in the end, which causes Bucky to save Steve’s life and flee. He then voluntarily visits the Smithsonian exhibit on Captain America presumably in an effort to recover his memories of both Steve and himself, highlighting just how crucial Steve is when it comes to Bucky’s sense of self--they are permanently bound together. This seems to echo Steve’s admission that “Even when I had nothing, I had Bucky;” it appears that even when Bucky quite literally has and knows nothing, he still has Steve. When we find Bucky later on in Civil War, it’s made clear that he has spent his last two years in hiding grappling with his memories and writing them all down in an attempt to reconnect with himself and un-break his mind; he has, in essence, acted out the advice that Peggy gave to Steve: “the world has changed, and none of us can go back. All we can do is our best, and sometimes the best that we can do is to start over.” 

This brings Peggy’s and Bucky’s experiences full circle. At the end of _The First Avenger_ , Bucky is presumed dead and Steve and Peggy finally act on their mutual romantic interest, though their time together is cut tragically short. By the end of _The Winter Soldier_ , Peggy’s health is in decline, while the strength of Bucky’s ties to Steve is renewed despite his memory loss and overall mental displacement. He is revealed to be, undoubtedly, the most important person in Steve’s life. Taken into context with this shift, the song thus subtly positions Bucky as a romantic interest for Steve.

***

Natasha: “Nobody special then?”  
Steve: “Believe it or not, it’s kind of hard to find someone with shared life experience.”

Steve’s admission of wanting to date someone with "shared life experience” is an especially interesting parallel to the trajectories of his and Bucky’s lives, as revealed throughout the course of the film. At the surface level, there is the immediately apparent comparison of both of them ultimately being “men out of time,” which is revealed in a later scene. Like Steve, Bucky was presumed dead for the last 70 years when in reality he was alive and spending time in and out of forced cryogenic sleep, much like Steve’s own frozen tomb in the Arctic. Furthermore, both Steve and Bucky were made into super soldiers by agents of HYDRA. Before his defection to America and involvement with Project Rebirth, Dr. Erskine developed his super soldier serum for Johann Schmidt and was responsible for turning him into the Red Skull, enabling Schmidt’s ascent to become the leader of HYDRA. Similarly, Arnim Zola was Schmidt’s right-hand man and a fellow scientist seeking to replicate Erskine’s serum so that HYDRA could, similarly to Project Rebirth, use it to create an army of super soldiers. Though Zola and Erskine ended up on opposing sides and with vastly different personal beliefs and motivations, both were successful in creating their weapons--Erskine's being Captain America, and Zola’s being the Winter Soldier. In this way, both Steve and Bucky were drastically transformed by HYDRA, and both were used and manipulated by HYDRA to varying degrees, even long after HYDRA’s “defeat” during WWII. As an agent of a HYDRA-infiltrated S.H.I.E.L.D., Steve was used to carry out missions and run interference on HYDRA’s behalf unknowingly, while Bucky was brainwashed and used as HYDRA’s master assassin and ultimate weapon. Whether they liked it or not, HYDRA shaped their lives in ways unimaginable. 

Examining things more closely, there is also the matter of their overall friendship and subsequent shared history, from their meeting as schoolchildren to Steve’s mother’s death to their wartime experiences and shared band of brothers in the Howling Commandos. As is later reinforced by the scene in which Bucky invites Steve to live with him after his mother’s death, Bucky has been the sole constant in Steve’s life since he was young and his presence and companionship meant everything to Steve. Taking all of these factors into consideration, it’s impossible not to see Steve’s quip as an allusion to Bucky, making him truly the only person who meets Steve’s criteria. It’s a subtle moment of foreshadowing that also quietly positions Bucky once again as a potential love interest for Steve.

***

Steve: “It was him. He looked right at me and he didn’t even know me.”  
Sam: “How’s that even possible, that was like seventy years ago?”  
Steve: “Zola. Bucky’s whole unit was captured in ‘43, Zola experimented on him. Whatever he did helped Bucky survive the fall. They must’ve found him and--”  
Natasha: “None of that is your fault Steve.”  
Steve: ”Even when I had nothing I had Bucky.”

Harkening back to Steve’s quip about “shared life experiences,” in this moment he further unravels those shared between him and Bucky in the wake of discovering the Winter Soldier’s true identity and being captured by HYDRA. He’s in a state of disbelief; the revelation that his best friend is alive and has been brainwashed by the very organization he’d lost his life dismantling, rocks him to his core. His simple but profound admission that “even when I had nothing, I had Bucky” cements their relationship as being more, more than can possibly be defined or articulated in words; it goes beyond Steve and Bucky being war brothers, or even lifelong best friends. For Steve to say that he still had Bucky when he had no one and nothing else in his life implies that to Steve, Bucky was his everything--his friend, his family, the person he loved more than anything or anyone.

***

Bucky: “We looked for you after. My folks wanted to give you a ride from the cemetery.”  
Steve: “I know, I’m sorry. I just…kind of wanted to be alone.”  
Bucky: “How was it?”  
Steve: “It was okay. She’s next to Dad.”  
Bucky: “I was gonna ask…”  
Steve: “I know what you’re gonna say, Buck, I just…”  
Buck: “We can put the couch cushions on the floor like when we were kids. It’ll be fun. All you gotta do is shine my shoes, maybe take out the trash.”  
Steve: “Thank you, Buck, but I can get by on my own.”  
Bucky: “The thing is, you don’t have to. I’m with you ‘til the end of the line, pal.”

This moment cements Steve and Bucky’s roles as each other’s chosen family and prods at the deeper significance of that attachment. It’s suggested here that Bucky comes from a close-knit family that embraced Steve and viewed him--and possibly Sarah--as family themselves, implying that Steve was a fixture in the Barnes household and Bucky’s life. In his youth, Bucky is the picture of idealized American masculinity: he is strong, handsome, charismatic, and charming, able to easily win fistfights and score dates. As mentioned in his profile at the Smithsonian exhibit, Bucky also had three younger siblings; he could’ve spent his time with them, or been shown to have other friends--no doubt he was probably popular--and yet, from what we’re able to glean from Steve’s memories and how he speaks about Bucky, it appears as though Bucky always chose Steve over everyone else. He clings to Steve tightly and tries to support him, even when Steve actively attempts to push him away. 

As this scene illustrates, Bucky immediately sees through Steve’s efforts to appear strong and unaffected in the wake of his mother’s death, signifying that he knows Steve intimately. He coaxes Steve to move in with him and makes it clear that he expects very little in return, an attempt on Bucky’s part to give Steve the space be vulnerable and to grieve without it affecting his quality of life. It seems like a small gesture, one that most people might extend to a close friend going through similar circumstances, but Bucky’s declaration to Steve that he’s “with him ‘til the end of the line” frames it otherwise. In this context, Bucky’s desire to take care of and provide for Steve and remain by his side is lifelong, akin to a marriage. The setup that Bucky suggests supports this notion as well; Bucky floats the idea of Steve performing a few chores in lieu of paying rent. This is reminiscent of the roles assigned to spouses within the confines of the “traditional American marriage,” in which one spouse is the provider or “breadwinner” whose income supports the couple and the other is the domestic caretaker who is responsible for the upkeep of the household; in this case, Bucky is framed as the provider and Steve is framed as the caretaker. Even the phrasing that Bucky employs reads similar to traditional marriage vows; his insistence that Steve doesn’t have to be alone is wholly evocative of the words “to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health,” and “I’m with you ‘til the end of the line” echoes “till death do us part.” This vow is especially significant since it’s the phrase that ultimately brings Bucky back to himself and breaks his Winter Soldier programming, which speaks to the depth of Bucky’s love for Steve. Taken in this scope, Bucky’s feelings for Steve come across as inherently romantic.

***

Steve: “I'm not gonna fight you. You're my friend”  
Bucky: “You're my mission!”  
Steve: “Then finish it. 'Cause I'm with you 'til the end of the line.”

This scene, palpably brimming with Steve’s desperation and pain, is one of the most significant moments he shares with Bucky in their entire cinematic history. The moment Steve drops his shield he sends an unmistakable message: he would rather die than go on living in a world where Bucky does not remember him. He surrenders himself fully to that possibility and faces it seemingly without fear or regret, his sole focus on Bucky. It reiterates the notion that the attachment Steve feels to Bucky is stronger than that of his attachment to anyone or anything else in his life. This attachment appears to be felt just as strongly by Bucky, despite his mind being corrupted by HYDRA. When he hears Steve recite his own promise back to him, he recoils in horror, his memories suddenly triggered. This single utterance is able to break through seventy years worth of manipulation, severe physical and psychological torture, memory-wiping, and conditioning; no matter what horrors HYDRA put Bucky through, they could never fully erase Steve from his memory or his heart. This scene, then, is a moment that is rooted in the idea that true, profound love conquers all and can undo even the greatest of evils and the cruelest of abuses; not coincidentally, it is also a trope heavily used in romantic dramas, wherein one half of the main couple invokes their love for the other in order to save them. The romantic nature of Steve and Bucky’s bond is solidified in this moment between them; it highlights the depth and tenacity of their love for each other and frames it in a romantic context.


	4. Captain America: Civil War

Rumlow: “He remembered you--your pal, your buddy, your Bucky.”

Steve, on the cusp of being victorious over Rumlow and his mercenaries in Lagos, is shaken from his concentration when Rumlow utters this line. In turn, Steve’s distraction causes him to almost get killed, as it gives Rumlow the opening he needs to set off a bomb. It also costs Steve and the assembled Avengers a great deal, as Wanda tries to contain the bomb and accidentally launches it into a populated office building, killing and injuring numerous civilians. This incident, the last in a string of instances of horrific collateral damage from Avengers activity, is poised as the final straw that incites the Sokovia Accords, which in turn becomes a driving force behind the split between the Avengers. This moment sets the tone for the rest of the film, and also subtly foreshadows its ending: Steve is so deeply entrenched in his feelings for Bucky that they cost him everything. This reckless single-mindedness is reminiscent of Bucky’s behavior in the moment Rumlow recalls to taunt Steve, in which Bucky kept asking about “the man on the bridge” and insisting he knew him, driving Pierce to slap him and order that his mind be wiped. In essence, when the other is brought up, neither Steve nor Bucky can shift their focus from thoughts of the other, even under threat of violence. 

This obsessive focus is something Steve does not display with any other character, not even Peggy. Its singularity adds a new murkiness to the nature of Steve and Bucky’s relationship, giving it further weight in Steve’s life while also working to obscure its emotional roots. This ambiguity bleeds into Steve’s reminiscences of Bucky throughout the rest of the film. When Steve is comforting Wanda in the aftermath of Lagos, he remarks that “Rumlow said Bucky and all of a sudden I was a sixteen year old kid again in Brooklyn.” This leaves the audience with lingering questions. We know that Steve and Bucky have been friends since they were young children, so why did Steve flashback to when he was sixteen years old? What happened between him and Bucky at that age that was so significant? What’s more, we find out a little later on in the film that one of Bucky’s Winter Soldier trigger words is “seventeen.” Bucky is a year older than Steve, giving peculiar significance to the age specificity on Steve’s part; is there a correlation between this particular memory and the number seventeen being used to brainwash Bucky? Alas, we never find out; Steve says nothing more on the subject in that moment and it isn’t brought up again during the rest of the film. It seems there are pieces of his and Bucky’s relationship that Steve wishes to keep for himself.

***

Bucky: “What’s gonna happen to your friends?”  
Steve: “Whatever it is, I’ll deal with it.”  
Bucky: “I don’t think I’m worth all of this, Steve.”  
Steve: “What you did all those years, it wasn’t you. You didn’t have a choice.”  
Bucky: “I know. But I did it.”

Bucky expresses this doubt once he and Steve are aboard the quinjet en route to Siberia to confront Zemo. Reflecting on the events that occurred at Leipzig Airport, Bucky asks Steve about what will become of his friends. Despite his own personal suffering and mental instability, Bucky still worries about the fates of Steve’s newfound friends, who are complete strangers to him. Against all odds, Bucky’s true nature shines through--he is compassionate and thoughtful, despite what HYDRA has done to him and how the rest of the world sees him. Coupled with this, he feels guilty for everything Steve has sacrificed for him as well; he knows without question that the people they left behind, even the ones they fought, are important to Steve, and he understands that by cutting ties with them Steve has jeopardized his own freedom and shattered whatever fledgling family he had. As such, the implication that what’s important to Steve is also important to Bucky is readily apparent--they are of the same heart. 

This moment also highlights the guilt that Bucky feels for the atrocities he committed as the Winter Soldier ("I know. But I did it”). His choice to remain in hiding for the two years between _The Winter Soldier_ and _Civil War_ was no doubt a direct result of this, along with his need to settle his mind and attempt to heal and recover his memories from before HYDRA. What’s particularly interesting about this scene is the way in which Bucky and Steve communicate. Both of them are hesitant with each other, illustrating how their relationship has changed in the aftermath of Bucky remaining in hiding, and Steve only gives away part of how he’s feeling. His remark that “what you did all those years, it wasn’t you” in response to Bucky’s admission of unworthiness only addresses the fact that he doesn’t hold Bucky responsible for the actions of the Winter Soldier, which can easily be attributed to his infallible sense of justice. However, the unspoken “yes, you are worth it” hangs heavy in the silence between them, as if Steve is afraid to tell Bucky how he truly feels. With his back turned to Bucky he gives nothing away, however we are able to see the pain and longing that overtakes him upon hearing those words; his face twists into a frown, he swallows and purses his lips as if trying to compose himself or stave off tears, and he pauses and seems to carefully consider his answer before responding. In that moment, the depth of his love for Bucky is apparent in his gaze and in his body language, yet it seems like he tries his hardest to keep it under wraps.

***

Steve: “He’s my friend.”  
Tony: “So was I.”

This exchange between Steve and Tony in the midst of their fight is saddening, but perhaps not for the obvious reasons. Given everything that has happened between Steve and Bucky and their shared history and life experiences, for Steve to use the word “friend” to characterize what Bucky is to him seems disingenuous. “Friend” is not enough to encapsulate or articulate everything that Bucky is to Steve, and so the comparison Tony makes of he and Bucky being one in the same to Steve is woefully inaccurate. 

This is through no fault of Tony’s; of all the people Steve talks to about Bucky, Tony is never shown to be one of them, thus he probably doesn’t know the extent to which Steve and Bucky are wrapped up in each other, nor just how much Bucky means to Steve. This also highlights the fact that, despite being the team leaders of the Avengers, Steve and Tony never truly develop an intimate friendship, instead more so remaining teammates who care for each other but who butt heads more often than not. It’s this fact that is truly the sad note in this exchange--that after everything they’ve been through together, Tony seems to care more about their relationship than Steve does. When faced with a choice between the two of them, Steve chooses Bucky easily and without hesitation. After Tony blasts off Bucky’s arm, Steve attacks him in a manner far more brutal than we’re used to seeing from him--this time, it’s personal. Steve nearly kills Tony in his attempt to subdue him and doesn’t hesitate in leaving him behind with serious injuries.

It’s notable too how, despite the fact that he’s trying to escape so as not to be killed, Bucky takes every available opening in the fight against Tony to protect and assist Steve, even at the end after he’s had his entire left arm blown off and is otherwise badly injured. He’s in distress and is urged multiple times by Steve to run, yet he still remains by Steve’s side and puts his life in danger, harkening back to their attempt to escape the burning HYDRA facility in _The First Avenger_ and Bucky’s vehement “Not without you.” Even when it’s himself who Steve is trying to protect, Bucky’s devotion to Steve supersedes his own self-preservation instincts; he is unwilling to be parted from Steve, no matter the odds or the cost.

***

Tony: “That shield doesn't belong to you. You don't deserve it. My father made that shield!”

Perhaps the most significant thing about this moment is not just its future implications, but what it implicitly calls back to: the very first time Steve picked up his shield for battle--not the one Howard made for him, but rather the stage prop he used during his tour with the USO as Captain America. In that moment, he grabbed his shield and headed off to Azzano with a single-minded focus on rescuing the captured men of the 107th, with Bucky in particular at the forefront of his mind--that one name being the only one he needed. Steve did not try to enlist in the army, volunteer for Project Rebirth, or become Captain America for or because of Bucky, but Bucky inadvertently was the one who spurred him into action for the first time as Captain America the soldier--it’s largely because of Bucky that Steve became a war hero. It’s poetic and deeply compelling, then, that Steve abandons his shield _twice_ for Bucky--first during their fight on the helicarrier and then again in this moment--and ultimately completely abandons the identity of Captain America and all its trappings solely for Bucky’s sake. 

At this point in the film and in his character arc, Steve has surrendered everything he has come to value and cherish in his life; he’s forsaken his friendship with Tony and fought him nearly to the death; he’s broken up the Avengers, thereby relinquishing his ties to his newfound family and the place he’d come to identify as _home_ in the 21st century; he’s made it impossible to continue whatever fledgling relationship he might’ve had with Sharon Carter; he’s gone against international law and made himself a fugitive of multiple countries; he’s readily discarded the respected and beloved identity of Captain America, an identity he’d worn for the last decade and one that carried 70 years worth of heroic iconicism. All of this, every single part of it, he’s done solely for the sake of protecting, as Rumlow put it, _his_ Bucky. 

This moment is the culmination of Steve and Bucky’s story, which has hitherto been imbued with many romantic tropes and ideals. They are without a doubt each other’s chosen family, but all of their interactions and Steve’s admissions about his attachment to Bucky suggest that their love goes deeper than being merely platonic or brotherly; the fierceness of their devotion to each other is uncanny. This moment highlights that peculiar unwavering devotion in Steve unceremoniously dropping his shield while holding an injured Bucky, his back to Tony the entire time. The message is clear: he’s made his choice, and to him Bucky is worth destroying his entire life and upending the world. The immensity of that sacrifice can be seen as the ultimate symbol of true love. It speaks of a love that is incomparable and defies all logic and good sense; it goes beyond friendship, beyond family, beyond brotherhood. It is the kind of love that has been idolized for millennia and is present in all the greatest romantic stories the world over. Steve has always been willing to die for Bucky’s sake and nearly did so on two other incredibly significant occasions, but it is in this moment in which Steve voluntarily gives up his entire life _without_ the promise of death that solidifies the nature of his feelings for Bucky. Bucky truly is his everything and he is willing to sacrifice all of himself in order to keep him safe; if that’s not the epitome of a grand gesture of romantic love, then I honestly don’t know what is.

***

Steve: “You sure about this?”  
Bucky: “I can't trust my own mind. So, until they figure out how to get this stuff out of my head I think going back under is the best thing…for everybody.”

Safely in Wakanda after the fight with Tony, Bucky chooses to go back into a cryogenic sleep state until HYDRA’s trigger words can be removed from his brain or reversed entirely. This is an important moment for Bucky, as it is one of the few decisions we’re shown post _The First Avenger_ that Bucky makes of his own volition. Steve is forlorn and clearly hurt by this decision; it’s readily apparent that he doesn’t want Bucky to go but he makes no move to stop him or attempt to talk him out of it. This is an important moment for Steve as well in that it illustrates both his implicit trust in Bucky and his deep respect for him. Up until this point, everyone in the film has treated Bucky as an extremely dangerous loose canon--with good reason--and while Steve is quick to believe that it’s untrue, even he regards Bucky with wariness during their first encounter in _Civil War_. Throughout the film, however, Steve gradually demonstrates that he trusts Bucky; this begins with Steve believing Bucky’s claims about Zemo’s plan directly in the aftermath of the Winter Soldier’s temporary activation and subsequent assassination attempts on everyone in the government holding facility in Bucharest, including Steve himself, and continues in the events that follow after. This moment is the pinnacle of that trust. He knows that Bucky is right and acquiesces to Bucky’s choice, regardless of his own personal feelings. Throughout _Civil War_ , Steve is shown to be selfish in his decision-making in choosing Bucky over everyone else in his life and at a great cost overall, both to himself and those who chose to follow him; here though, he forces himself to be unselfish for Bucky’s sake. It’s true that Steve has a propensity for sacrificing his own happiness in service of the greater good, but it feels especially significant in this moment, when he does it for the sake of the person for whom he just burned down his entire life, someone who he loves unendingly.


	5. Avengers: Infinity War

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with this, my rambling is complete.

Steve: “How have you been, Buck?”  
Bucky: “Not bad, for the end of the world.”

About the stark contrast in Bucky’s appearance before and after Steve’s arrival in Wakanda, the fandom has quipped that he had to “freshen up for his man;” all jokes aside, it is an extremely apt comparison. When T’Challa comes to outfit Bucky with his new arm, Bucky is working in the field; his hair is limp and greasy, his clothes are worn and dirty, and he generally looks disheveled and unkempt, all of which highlights his weary resignation in joining the oncoming fray. When he goes to greet Steve, he looks like an entirely different person; his hair has been washed and neatly styled, his beard has been trimmed, and his general demeanor is sunny and excited. He’s clearly delighted to see Steve, and has made every effort to look good for him. It’s notable too that Bucky’s battle outfit harks back to the uniform he wore as Steve’s right-hand man in the Howling Commandos, which brings the strength of his loyalty and devotion to Steve full circle. Steve is no longer Captain America but Bucky remains steadfast at his side, wearing his colors and an outfit that calls back to their extensive history and shared life experience. He is ready to jump into battle no matter the enemy or his personal desire to fight and sets aside his own happiness and safety to aid and protect Steve, even in the face of certain death or the apocalypse.

Bucky’s joy at their reunion is very clearly shared by Steve, who beams and goes in for a hug almost immediately upon seeing him. The film’s directors noted that this is not Steve’s first time visiting Wakanda since Bucky has come out of cryo, and the writers mentioned that Steve and Bucky definitely kept in contact while Steve was a fugitive. Their relationship during _Civil War_ is understandably strained and a little distant, what with Bucky still working to regain his memories and evade capture or assassination, and Steve attempting to keep the world at bay. By contrast, it’s apparent in _Infinity War_ that Bucky has begun to heal during his stay in Wakanda and so by proxy has worked to maintain his relationship with Steve. Despite the forces keeping them apart, they make an effort to see each other and speak to each other, and the hug they share upon reuniting illustrates that they’ve regained the ease that once defined their relationship. The sheer delight they share in seeing each other again coupled with the tenderness and spontaneity of their hug even seems to hint at something more growing between them. They’ve found each other again, and their relationship is continuing to evolve.

***

Bucky: “Steve?”

Bucky’s last word before he turns to dust is Steve’s name; it’s spoken in a questioning tone, as if Bucky was about to ask him something else--perhaps about what was happening to him, or the reason behind Thanos’s sudden disappearance. What it was we will never know; we’re watching things unfold from Steve’s vantage point and moving in tandem through his emotions. He is beset with confusion and disbelief at first, as he doesn’t understand himself what’s happening; when he kneels to touch the ground where Bucky’s ashes fall, his movements are slow and cautious. His face, on the other hand, is blown open. Watching his best friend and most important person dissolve into dust leaves him visibly shaken. We can see the gears moving in his head; the ramifications of what happened starting to sink in, leaving Steve absolutely gutted. He’s just watched the person he loves most in his life slip away before his eyes yet again, making it three times now that he’s lost Bucky. This scene also serves as a heartbreaking callback to Bucky’s first words to Steve in Azzano after he is saved for the first time. It’s a moment that brings their entire journey painfully full-circle; Steve is in a state of shock and disbelief like he was at the very end of _The First Avenger_ after he wakes up in the twenty first century, and Bucky is presumed dead. This cyclical chronology suggests that Steve’s world begins and ends with Bucky, as does Bucky’s with Steve. 


End file.
